Ahhh, the joys and pains of public transportation. Wake up. Catch the subway. Catch the bus. Repeat. Yes, I travel almost everywhere by means of public transportation (I say almost, because I am not including the car that I pay 600 bucks a month for that never gets driven which I've had for a year and only has 4,000 miles on it…that's another story.) Let's discuss the joys.

The joys are simple. 1. I do not have to pay for gas (but I do have to pay $3.10 each way for a bus ticket to work, and $76 for an unlimited subway pass…which comes to $188 a month…which means I will probably be homeless by this time next year…but hey, no transportation cost, right?)

2. I get to sleep on the bus ride into the city…and by sleep, I mean stay awake and listen to loud people eat egg sandwiches and blast their IPOD. Honestly, is there any worse smell than an egg sandwich? Let alone on a bus? I mean, who eats egg sandwiches? Nobody knows.

3. I get to reflect on the week/my life/ the universe/gravity/how a sea monkey will grow/and anything else on one's mind while waiting for the bus or subway. Seriously, could the bus take any longer to arrive at its intended destination. "Get a bus schedule," you say. Well, the bus schedules are only designed to make you feel better. See, the buses don't realy arrive at the times they are intended to arrive. NJ transit only prints those out to give you a false hope that somewhere out there, there is a bus running on schedule. And doesn't it make sense to run a subway car even remotely regular late at night? If half the city is waiting on a subway car at night, then maybe there is a need? Or maybe even have mercy on us Harlem folk, and have a car run express past 11:00pm? Just a thought.

Well, now that we have discussed the joys…wait, you mean to tell me that the joys are the pains, and that public transportation has simply built a web of deceit by fooling the community into believing it stands on logical principals? Surely not! I refuse to believe such outlandish tomfoolery!You all can believe what you will! As for me and my house, we will continue to ride public transportation with pride and dignity. Web of deceit….Ha!….how ridiculous… I am not fooled…no sir, I see things clearly. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a bus to catch.