Like i said, March is Madness. What? You don't believe me? Let me explain. Tennessee MEN'S basketball team is going to the sweet sixteen (notice "men's" is emphasized. Maybe because they were absolutely awful when i was there. And our women's team pretty much goes to the Final Four every year.)

Oh, you don't like basketball? That's not enough madness for you? Well how about waking up on an invigorating Harlem morning, and walking outside to see your back rear window bashed out and glass all around and inside of your car (mind you it's freezing cold outside, and you're already late for work). Don't worry, they only stole about fifteen t-shirts that i had just washed, and a free Devils cap. No CD's. No shoes. No stereo system. Just a few t-shirts and a Devils cap. I mean why wouldn't you bust out someone's window and risk being arrested for a free Devils cap. You would be a fool not to. I know i would.

Ok, ok, so you don't care about vandalism or earthly possessions like Devil's caps or t-shirts. Well how about tenant court? Huh? You like landlord/tenant court? Ya know, good ol' fashioned civil crime? Well as you may or may not know (you would if you regularly kept up with joshlay.com blog posts, if you don't, shame on you. Anybody who's anybody reads joshlay.com blog posts and signs up for  free updates. Seriously. EVERYONE'S doing it) i went to court. Don't worry, it wasn't like Law and Order, there was actually no law and order involved. You see no one showed up. Not the defendant. Not the attorney. Heck, the judge came in wearing street clothes. She took the stand, threw her robe on and continued to read the New York Post. Now that's some serious court. Don't worry, our case was adjourned till next month. Woo hoo. More court. Perhaps next time it will be a pirate themed court date where everyone has to dress like their favorite pirate or swashbuckler. I mean why not? Apparently it doesn't matter whether you show up or not.

Still don't think March is Madness? Well, i doubt you have a soul. That's right, I said it. You're soulless (is soulless even a word? Is now). You know where people like you would fit perfectly? A wax museum. Wax figures don't have souls. Only really really detailed features that make you think they're real. Honestly, is there anything creepier than a wax museum? Absolutely not. And don't be that kid that stands really still, only to jump out and scare people. Especially if you're wearing a British Guard hat. No body likes those things. They're creepy.