Water falls. Lakes. Rivers. Dripping water. If the thought of all these things doesn't make you want to pee, I don't know what does. Honestly, thinking about all that water after just drinking a bunch of water makes me want to pay my visit to the "john". You see, when I use the bathroom I use a toilet, not the floor.

A simple concept really. You have to pee. You use the toilet. Not hard, right? Well, after living in the city, you would think this concept is revolutionary.  I mean I don't know which is grosser, peeing in the subway, or peeing in the elevator. Yes, you read correctly. Urine in an elevator.

It seems as though someone in my building likes to pee in the elevator. Oh it gets cleaned up, but then they strike again. Seriously folks, I am guilty of an occasional bush or tree in the woods, but an elevator?  It's already awkward enough standing in silence with people you don't know, let alone someone urinating. I mean I get stage fright when a guy is watching me pee in a cup(for a physical, you pervert.)

I can't honestly say which is worse, taking a wiz in the elevator, or totally disobeying elevator etiquette. It's not hard etiquette: You get in. You don't talk. You face the front. You don't push all the buttons. You don't eat an egg sandwich. You don't urinate on the floor. Simple.

So the moral of the story is this: Be courteous to those around you, and don't wee-wee on them or their stuff(yes, this includes elevators). As a great philosipher once said, "We don't pee in your bed, so don't pee in our pool." He was also talking about elevators. Now excuse me while I go pee-pee…in a toilet. 

O.k., so I realize my past few blogs have been extremely bitter…and by bitter I mean written in frustration of what this great city will do to you. So that's where you come in…yes YOU…the one staring into the monitor…perhaps at work, others at home…you!! Yeah even the ones who get the joshlay.com updates (if you don't get them, what are you waiting on? Anybody who's anybody gets them!! Seriously, you'd be a fool not to get them!) Enough self-promotion.

See, this month has been crazy. Moving into a new place, bills, bills, bills and work(yes, I know I am a mascot, but I have been traveling all over New Jersey doing appearances…which is great for the community, not so great if you are trying to get rest, and get over being sick.) Well, you my friend were a great deal of help.

"What did I do?" Glad you asked. You sent me emails of encouragement, phone calls when I needed them, and heck, just being there if I needed. Seriously, I am truly blessed to have some amazing friends and family. Is my life really that bad? I mean honestly? I have it made. But isn't it just easier to complain? I think it is. That way, you don't have to focus on all the amazing blessings in your life. So yeah, thank you to everyone who has shown me support, said a kind word, or flashed me a smile(and no I don't mean "flash" in the sense of someone exposing their privates..does anyone even say privates anymore? Nobody knows.You pervert.)

But thanks again. You rock. "I don't even know you, I was looking for the NFL guy Josh Lay,who plays for the Saints, and stumbled across this website." Well, to you I say, sign up for updates and get on the bus say what,  say what,  or get let behind. And by bus I mean the friendship bus…that's right, I said it. Friendship bus. Anybody who's anybody will be on the friendship bus. Will you?

Sponge [spuhnj] noun: a person or thing that absorbs something freely. There you have it folks, New York City. That's right, the biggest sponge in the world. "What does New York City soak up so freely?" Glad you asked.

Where to begin, oh, I know, we'll start with time. I must admit, I just love having to schedule my friends in to hang out. Seriously, if you want to grab a slice of pizza with me, you'd better be on the list, or made previous verbal agreements, because if not…sorry  pally. No can do. It's pathetic really. I mean, it would be one thing if I was a big shot actor who was on set or traveling from city to city, but no, I'm just an average Joe (Josh), who is consumed with work, shows, commuting(as discussed in previous blogs) and eating/sleeping(yes you have to schedule those in as well), and doesn't have time to hang out with his friends. Pathetic.

If time isn't enough to soak up, the City loves to get a hold of that good ol' ambition. Honestly, how many commercial auditions can you not get, and call backs you not receive before you start to go crazy and question your very purpose in this "Big City"? And I'm just talking about commercials! No wonder that I have seen so many of my friends come and go in the city. How much rejection can one man take? Hopefully more than that one man, who couldn't take that much.

O.k New York, you've got my time and ambition, but not my money…oh wait, you've had that from day one. Not that I have any thing for the City to soak up, but whatever I do have, the City will pry from my hands. It is ridiculous. Every dime goes to the City…seriously, every dime. There's a reason a man stands outside the subway everyday saying, "You gotta dime?" Because the City has taken all his, and he needs everyone else's to give back to the City again, thus taking every dime in the City. I won't even speak of rent. Seriously, it is to disturbing for young readers.

There you have it. The Great Sponge. Time, money, and ambition…all gone. "So what's left?" Well, my good friend, I ask myself that often. After much thought, I have come to this conclusion: The only thing left when all is gone, is the greatest city in the world. So I will not throw in the sponge yet, oh no, the sponge will not yet be thrown in.