Only a few days left. 2K6 coming to a close. The only time of the year that you can say to your friends, "See you next year!" and see them a few days later (I don't care who you are, that is comedy gold). It's the time of year you try and turn over a new leaf. And by new leaf, I mean start dieting, working out, find a job, or perhaps even start a family (much props goes out to Sarah and Daniel Pierce for their wedding tomorrow…that I'm missing mind you because I dress up like a furry demon. Yes, I realize I'm a young professional and still dress up like it's freakin' Halloween, and throw t-shirts,and get picked on by little kids in which I can't strike back because it would be assault on a minor. Don't worry, there will be a day of reckoning, and their worlds will crumble…but for now, they just get a free stick on Devil's tattoo).

"What are you trying to say?" Well my friend, I'm saying don't hit mascots or your world will disappear and life as you know it will crumble. I'm also saying that the New Year is a time to evaluate yourself, and see how far you've come (like dressing up as the prince of darkness for the amusement of children) and where you're going.

Well, I've decided to share with you (yes, all five of you) how my year went in 2K6. Enjoy a time of reflection(in no particular order):

Had to be the Devil on New Year's Eve last year only to rush to 59th street and realize that myself, girlfriend at the time and hundreds of others were watching a feux ball (when the real ball dropped, no one knew. Everyone just kinda realized that their watches said different times like 12:01, :03,:05…and people awkwardly started yelling Happy New Years after the entire country already celebrated). Went to Orlando to watch National Cheerleading/Dance/Mascot competition…yes it really exist, that's a blog in and of itself. I went home in February, July, November, and December…not that you care, just saying. Went to a Yankees vs. RedSox game with my folks, a Mets vs. Cubs, Bears vs. Giants, Nets vs. 76ers and of course every home Devil's game. I've moved three times from 107th, to 140th, to 125th street. Performed in some shows, wrote a show, hosted some shows. Auditioned for some commercials. Got out of a relationship and in to another one. Appeared as "N.J. Devil" over 60 times in New Jersey. Went to Montreal (could the money conversion be any more confusing). I've seen friends get married, ex girlfriends get divorced, friends have babies (I love ya Jonah…he will not be swallowed by a whale though, I promise…if he does, that would be crazy. Then that would be two jonahs that happened to) and friends move in and out of th city ( miss you Colin and Bill…on a very masculine level)

So there, my 2K6 in a nut shell. Was there more? Yes. Do you care to read about it, and I care to type? No. So my advice for the new year is this: Just because something says it has 0g trans fat, it probably has a lot of regular grams of fat or high in sodium or calories, and they're just trying to sell their product. So don't buy it. We'll show them. Happy New Year, and good day.

 Well, it's that time of year. Ol' Santy better bring his A game this Christmas. What? You don't believe in Santy? Well, I confess me neither, and I'll tell you why.

Early Christmas morn, a young lad named Joshua scurried down the stairs to see what Old Saint Nick had left under the tree. "Have I been naughty or nice?" thought the shirtless young boy with a bowl hair cut and spider man undies. That very question had kept him awake all night in anticipation for what the morning would bring.

As soon as daylight hit, Joshua raced down the stairs with his sister to see what Santa had left. The chocolate oatmeal cookies were gone, and the Polaroid camera was out. As soon as the boy began opening his presents, he knew the answer to his long awaited question. "Wow! Hungry Hungry Hippos!" Josh proclaimed as he unwrapped the hottest new game on the market. "Exactly what I wanted!" Filled with glee, the boy began joyfully tossing boxes in the air out of celebration. One by one, each box began making a pile around Joshua. Then one fell on his lap. Low and behold, it was the Hungry Hungry Hippos box.

(read as "The Night Before Christmas"..I know clever)

And what to his wondering eyes should appear? But a k-mart price tag, in the shape of a deer. He looked even closer to see what's the matter, and the price of the gift appeared all torn and tattered. He ran up the stairs to awake mom and pops. He asked, "Have my presents been all bought in shops?" His pop half asleep rolled over in bed. And said,"Go to sleep. Ol' Santy is dead." Not in those words, but the message was true. The boy said to his dad, "This gift was bought by you!" The dad rolled back over with sleep in his eye, and poor bowl cut Joshua started to cry. Cautious about making noise, he left on his tiptoes. And spent the rest of Christmas playing Hungry Hungry Hippos.

There you have it, my Christmas story. The moral of the story? Santy is dead. Christmas is expensive. That's why my kids will work all year round. And I'm talking hard labor like dragging brush or installing above ground pools. So when they say, "Daddy we're tired of working!" I'll say, "You want Christmas don't you." Who's Old Saint Nick now.

"Where is he?" "Why has he not written anything in awhile?" "I must have a new blog?" I'm sure you all have been asking these questions. If not, I question your loyalty to joshlay.com…oh, what's that you say? You could care less? Shame on you. Anybody who's anybody is a loyal joshlay.com update subscriber. And by anybody, I mean anybody I have called and pestered to do so. (Forgive me if this blog is a bit scatter brained, I am listening to "Fergalicious" and I must say it is utterly ridiculous…and by ridiculous I mean I can't get enough. Honestly, could there be anymore of a catchier tune.)

 Not to much has been happening here lately, except I had a show on Monday night, and another one this Wednesday (which you all should come to…by the way, could the word "wednesday" be spelled any weirder or more complicated. Don't be that guy that makes up a word that doesn't make sense, and then have everyone use it for all eternity).

So besides a few shows and my roommate getting mugged…oh yeah, my roommate got mugged at the subway stop last night. Somebody stole her purse. Your classic "somebody stole her purse" line, but he did, and if you see him tell him two things: 1. Give it back 2. You're a criminal.  Do it in that order. Otherwise he may be offended by you calling him a criminal, and not give the purse back.

See, I live hardcore. Shows, larceny(to my roommate) I am one tough mug. That's why I reside in Harlem. Only there can you truly appreciate the toughness. You know what else is tough. Popeye's chicken, but in a good way, unless you get it cold, then it's tough in a bad way and unedible. Seriously though, those biscuits are ridiculous, but not as ridiculous as "Fergalicious". Nope. Nothing is more ridiculous than that…well, other than the claymation Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer(which I LOVE by the way). That is ridiculous. C'mon an elf that wants to be a dentist? Definitely a stretch of the imagination don't you think?