Last month was a month of extermination. I decided to exterminate my old job and start anew. And I exterminated some pests that decided to move into my apartment. Unfortunately, i am not talking about the human pests that live in my building. No, what i exterminated were bugs. (The human pests aren't so easy to exterminate. Did I say pests? I meant drug dealers and users.)

To be honest, the dealers and users don't bother me. As long as they stay to themselves and use their respected window ledges to snort cocaine off of, i'm fine with being greeted by the reoccurring, delusional, paranoid addict as much as the next man. What does bother me, however, are exterminators that come into my room and steal my gummies. That's right. Gummy thieves. I wish i could say i'm making this up, but i'm not. The exterminators stole my gummies. Have i been tempted to steal a few Trolli Brite Crawlers in my day? Absolutely. But would i steal gummies from a client? Absolutely not. Sure they're delicious and covered in sugary sweetness, but that doesn't make them yours. Hence why they were in my room.

If you crave gummies that badly, just ask me. I'd be more than understanding and toss ya a few. But don't steal them! And if you do, at least leave me a couple. But what can ya do? Go buy some more, that's what! Man, i love gummies. So that's it. That's the latest. Be on the lookout for gummy thieves and hookah bars. That's right! Hookah bars. I went to my first the other night, and it was awesome! Kinda made me feel like I was the caterpillar from Alice in Wonderland. "Whoooo are yoouuu?" Speaking of caterpillars, can you imagine if that caterpillar was made of gumminess? He would be the biggest gummy caterpillar on the planet! Perhaps the only gummy caterpillar on the planet. Of course, not that it would matter. The exterminators would probably steal that too. Pesky exterminators.